This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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