dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
