Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
