Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize