Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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