I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize