There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
