I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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