Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
