All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize