Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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