How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
