dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
