I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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