So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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