you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
