Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize