The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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