cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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