i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
