Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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