I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
