I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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