C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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