I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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