There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
