you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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