Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
