Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
