he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
