More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize