I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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