Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
