My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
