i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
