Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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