we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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