I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
