her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
