im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
