ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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