i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You smell like stripper and shame
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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