Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
