So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
