So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
