if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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