So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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