Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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