i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
