so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
