sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
