That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
