Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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