UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
