you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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