I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
