i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize