I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
