I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
They should really pass out barf bags in church
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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