we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
