Soap is not a condiment
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize