you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
