I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
