apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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