Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize