he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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