I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
