My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am one with the molecules
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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