There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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