just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
