Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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