His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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