He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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