once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
